How to easily improve your relationship with uncertainty can sound like one of those too-good-to-be-true promises. It’s that word ‘easily’.

You may be wondering if it can be that easy. Because you may find it really hard to live with uncertainty.

Especially in these challenging times when we are living with it every day on so many levels. There may be the uncertainty around the health issue you’re living with, politically, the pandemic, etc, etc. It’s a shed load to contend with.

But what if it’s easy to improve your relationship with uncertainty?

What if you told yourself, ‘I can learn this and I can learn this pretty quickly.’ Sit with that for a moment. Feel what it’s like to learn quickly. Keep holding the belief, that yes, ‘this can be easy for me’.

A woman is standing holding her belief in her ability to learn. She is saying, "Ooo! This feels big to hold. But it's not heavy." A man of colour is standing with her. He is holding uncertainty and saying, "It's possible to learn. I did and I don't worry as much now." The point of this picture by Return to Wellness® is that believing in your ability to learn will help you to improve your relationship with uncertainty. We have to learn how to deal with uncertainty and that is very possible to do.

Here are easy-to-use techniques that will help you improve your relationship with uncertainty

Each technique listed here is easy to do. It’s not rocket science. But you need to practice them to make them more automatic.

I provide 11 techniques with some inspirational quotes interspersed among them. (I love a good inspirational quote!)

It’s like a pick and mix. Use what resonates with you.

Aim to choose several. Having more than one way to help yourself can be a potent recipe for improving your relationship with uncertainty.

This blog is packed full of easy-to-use techniques to help you learn to deal with uncertainty without stressing yourself out so much about it #takecontrol #uncertainty #wellness Share on X

The 11 techniques to improve your relationship with uncertainty

1. Be mindful of your thoughts

Start to notice how often you criticise yourself, worry about the future, the past, other people, etc. as compared to how often you are self-compassionate. Self-awareness can be powerful.

An original quote by Return to Wellness® states: "Is the garden of your mind full of weeds or flowers." - This is especially important to remember when you are seeking to improve your relationship with uncertainty. Read the blog to learn all the other techniques to help you do that.

2. Remember, you don’t have to believe every single thing you think

Particularly if you’re thinking and worrying about the future, worrying about what others may think of you, and what they do and don’t do.

An original quote by Return to Wellness® states: "You don't have to believe everything you think." - This is especially important to remember when you are seeking to improve your relationship with uncertainty. Read the blog to learn all the other techniques to help you do that.

3. Bring yourself into the here and now

You can do that by noticing five things around you that you can see and touch around you – your cup of tea/coffee, your phone, a book, a pen, etc.

4. Seek ways to reassure yourself

Tell yourself

  • It will be ok.
  • That you’ve been in a similar situation and survived that.
  • Etc.

Have a number of ways to reassure yourself.

5. Sense check how much in control you are

Do that by listening to the language you use. To learn how, watch this video. It’s 11 minutes long.

6. Figure out what you can control and what you cannot and therefore need to let go of

Learn how by watching this video on Stephen Covey’s Spheres of Control, Influence and Concern (1989). It’s also 11 minutes.

7. Talk about it with someone you trust who won’t judge you

This helps you to:

  • Acknowledge what is going on for you which is a powerful thing to do. This helps you make the unknown known
  • That in turn helps you to say how you are feeling. When you do this, you ‘contain’ your feelings so they don’t turn into overwhelm.
  • And doing that helps you to identify your needs.

8. Self-compassion helps too

You can’t have too much of this. Stockpile it. Use it regularly.

9. Ask yourself: What has enabled me to get this far?

This is a great way of reminding yourself of your strengths.

10. Focus on the good stuff happening in your current situation

Even if it’s small stuff. You’ve got to keep exercising your appreciation muscle. Writing it down helps to reinforce it.

11. And remember, everything is figure-out-able

This pic is an original quote by Barbara Babcock of Return to Wellness®. It says: Everything is figure-out-able. This is a great way to reassure yourself that you will figure things out eventually and so conquer overwhelm.

What’s it like for you?

What is your relationship with uncertainty currently like? Which of the techniques above will you try first?

If you are living with a challenging health issue or caring for someone who is, and would like support on any of the issues discussed here, you can


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© Copyright Barbara Babcock 2021


Covey, S.R. (1989) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. London, UK: Simon & Schuster UK Ltd.

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