I’m going to make the case for why you need a fuck it list this year and how to create one. You probably have a bucket list for all the fun things you want to do in life before you die. The bucket and fuck it lists go hand-in-hand. One is what you want to do. The other the stuff you don’t want to do.

A fuck it list is liberating

It is you taking a stand and saying, ‘Right, I had enough of this. This is going to change!’

That is why I’ve chosen to use fruity language. It’s to emphasise a strong resolve to do something different. If you don’t like the word I’ve chosen, replace it with another one that is meaningful to you.

Life is short. If you’re dealing with a challenging health issue or are in a caring role, you know that more than most. This is about making the most of your precious life and using the energy you have in a way that is nourishing rather than draining. That’s why you need a fuck it list.

What goes on your fuck it list?

Here’s a sample of what this kind of list contains.

  • Don’t want to worry about anymore – For example, what other people may think of you
  • Something you really want to stop doing or do less of – Soften your inner critical voice, stop feeling so lost in relation to your illness or injury, eat less biscuits and sweets
  • An unhelpful habit you want to change – Turning to alcohol when you’re upset
  • A toxic relationship you want to let go of
  • Saying yes to please people when it would be an act of self-care to say no

It’s the negative, unhelpful and unhealthy things in your life which go on your fuck it list

If you set new year’s resolutions, does it ever take the form of a fuck it list? If not, consider it. Read more here. And learn why I use such strong language #wellness Share on X

Whatever you want to change has to be in your control to change

You can learn more about what is in your control and what isn’t here in this 11 minute video This is key as you don’t want to be wasting your energy on trying to change things that are outside your control.

4 important considerations for your fuck it list

First, just as it’s important to know what you want to stop doing, it’s just as important to know what you will do instead.

For example, if you want to drink less alcohol, what will you do instead? Drink mocktails? Exercise? Draw? Clean? Or if you want to soften your inner critical voice, what will you say to yourself instead?

Second, be mindful regarding any expectations you have of yourself to make changes overnight.

Sometimes we can expect ourselves to get something 100% right the very first time we do it. But if the change you want to make has been difficult in the past (quitting smoking for example) or is something completely new, it may take time for it to become easy and quick to do well. And that’s ok. It’s key you manage your expectations of yourself when it comes to making change.

Third, treat doing something new as a learning process.

When you learn something new, you may not do it as you hoped to the first, second, or even third time you do it. That’s ok. Figure out what you learned and what you could do differently going forwards then try that. Being willing to try something new on an ongoing basis helps.

Remember this mnemonic: FAIL – First Attempt In Learning

Failure is a reason why people find it's so easy to give up. This picture shows a person looking at the word FAIL but it stands for First Attempt in Learning. The person is saying, 'This is a much better way to think of failure.'

Fourth, take a daily dose of self-compassion

A woman is holding an oversized glass containing a dose of self-compassion. On the glass is written, 'I am enough.' The woman is thinking, 'Gosh, this is a large dose. I heard it doesn't taste too bad. I hope it tastes ok.' This is important to consider when you implement your fuck it list. To know what I mean by that, be sure to read the blog.

Getting help can make your fuck it list a reality

The non-judgemental, objective, third party support of a coach can help you figure out

  • what to put on your fuck it list,
  • what you can do instead to get to where you want to be, and
  • your self-sabotage strategies and how to neutralise those.

Having the support of loved ones and friends helps enormously too. A coach and these sources of support help you get to where you want to be faster.

So what will you put on your fuck it list this year?

Share in the comments below.

If you are living with a challenging health issue or caring for someone who is, and would like support on any of the issues discussed here, you can


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© Copyright Barbara Babcock 2021

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